Things Said

You say things like
"you're so uncompromising"
yet I feel so compromised,
who I am and the things I do
often feeling censored,
unaccepted, wrong, put down

You say things like
"I was just kidding"
all jokes have some truth
an apology doesn't erase the cut,
blur the embarassment,
modify the memory

You say things like
"I need some space"
please, take it. Now.
Space won't change you,
nor me or who I am but,
its a great way to run

You say things like
"I still think you're cute"
Cute is for kids or puppies
My hurt is real, my distaste clear
I feel cut, not cute, yet I reply
"Thanks", not wanting to talk

Please, take your space
Compromise someone else
Kid with someone new
Find someone else that's cute
I'm all done, not gonna play
Its a game over and you lost

I am me, plain and simple
not gonna make an excuse
no need to explain me.
I can't compromise more,
I'm already bent over backwards.
Fix you but don't change me.

written: 6/12/05
 

someone other than me

If I were good enough
perhaps strong enough
maybe even thin enough

I could then be lovable
perhaps a bit adorable
maybe even desirable

I can be quieter
perhaps softer
maybe less animated

Could I then be wanted?
perhaps a little accepted?
maybe more than just tolerated?

Something other than me
perhaps more who you want
maybe simply different

Anyone other than who I am.

written: 5/31/05

Images

have you looked in the mirror
not recognizing the image
someone different than you
or who you thought you were

have you looked at pictures
without memory of the memories
there but not there
although clearly you were

an image in the mirror
a picture of a thousand words
maybe that what life is
just memories and images

i can't see me, but i remember her
a shadow of me; a memory, an image
a facade i wanted the world to see
but inside, its little lost me

written: 1/09/05